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A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote rural pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a Boss tie leaned out of the window and asked the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers "sure!" The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell-phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex macros. Finally he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1586 sheep!" "That is correct, take one of the sheep" says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and put it in his Cherokee. Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?" "Okay, why not" answers the young man. "You are obviously a consultant" says the shepherd. "That is correct" says the young man, "How did you guess that?" "Easy" answers the shepherd. "You turn up here although nobody called you. You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew. And you don't know shit about my business because you took my dog."
Only a Farmer's Kid .......
When you're from the country ~ you look at things a little differently...
A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door "Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?" "No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No sir, He went with Mom and Dad." The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely.. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad." "Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother, Howard, getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that", he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull, $100 for the ram and $50 for the boar, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."
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